Ever get the feeling God is testing you or rather teaching you, but you just can’t figure out what the lesson is? I’ve always been pretty good about reading things. I’m smart, quick-witted, have common sense, perceptive, great sense of humor – not to toot my own horn… ok, I’m totally tooting my own horn. My point is, at life I can think inside the box and I can think outside of the box, but when it comes to “hearing” God direct me… let’s just say I struggle a bit. I need HUGE neon signs!
Every morning when I say my prayers, I mostly pray the same thing… keep me & the family safe, help us make good choices and forgive us because we will slip up, be with those who need healing, and please lean a little more on Jase about making good choices. In retrospect, that last request is probably where I’m going wrong.
Sidenote: I remember my dad telling me one time that I should be careful when praying for patience, because I might not like how God answers me. Meaning He won’t just give me patience, He will “teach” me patience – yeah, it was then that I made a mental note to NEVER pray for patience. I’m soooo not a patience kinda person; in fact, you would be just in saying I’m extremely impatient, so I couldn’t see myself doing well at that particular lesson.
Jase is a great kid and I have to admit there haven’t been any Jase-catastrophes in a while (knock on wood). This is good, because I have had more than plenty of those in the past 7 years. Like when he poured the lawn chemical that had the skull & crossbones and the word “danger” in all caps on it into the dog kennels (with the dogs in the kennels), or when he was two and managed to open a red juice bottle and pour it on his me-maw’s white carpet, or when he locked himself in the upstairs bonus room, turned the wet bar sink on, and flooded the room (after that we had the wet bar removed), or when he climbed out his second story bedroom window onto the metal roof and was coaxing his little sister out as well, or even when he was in kindergarten and pulled his pants down in the lunch room and mooned everyone. You get the picture, right? I remember getting so mad at him when he would do things like that, but after the dust would settle I would always shake my head and chuckle. I think of how boring my life would be without my Jase. The kid keeps me on my toes and teaches me daily how to be a good parent.
Bryce and Sophie are just as great as Jase, and though they aren’t as extreme as Jase can be, they have their “make-momma-pull-out-her-hair” moments, too. Bryce is very sweet and kindhearted, but she has a tendency to have a smart mouth, talk back, and be extremely demanding and dramatic. Man, that’s one big lesson I’ve learned as a parent… up until this past year, I thought those were traits that came with being a teenage girl. Obviously, little girls start channeling their inner-teen around the age of four (or at least Bryce did). Sophie is loving, funny and so darn cute, BUT she IS a two year old…need I say more? I’ve learned that when the dog goes missing to check the pantry, because that’s Sophie’s favorite place to “hide” him. I can already tell that once she masters the art of masking her “guilty” look, I’m going to have to really keep my eye on her… sneaky, that one is.
Being a parent is a “learn as you go” process and I have to remind myself that just as my kids are learning how to survive & grow in this world, as a parent, so am I. I have to let go of the notion of needing my kids to “make good choices” in order to continue to grow into a good person, and if I'm being honest... to make my life easier. It’s not supposed to be easy, you don’t grow & learn from easy, it’s the challenges that make us smarter, quicker, and to put it frankly… just better. I’m not sure what this lesson is that God is teaching me, maybe it’s patience, because even though I refuse to pray for it – He knows that’s just what I need.
So tonight when I pray, it will be one simple sentence… “Thank you for the lessons that came from these three amazing kids today”.
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